Dilemma of the Soul

Chapter One

Let us set the Scene

THE SCENE commences with a one-sided conversation, an ear-bashing against A.do.nai.[i]
A little later, The Ru.ach-Ha.Ko.desh [ii] enters into the conversation.
Later still, Ma.shi.ach [iii] Himself joins in.

‘It is a beauteous evening
Calm and free…’ [iv]

he observed to no one

Wordsworth

Sorry?
Oh!
Where did You come from?

I wondered why there was suddenly
Such peace and calm
When my mind is anything but!

Turmoil
Back to front
Inside out
Upside down!

It’s no good praying to You
Because You never answer
More to the point
I don’t know Who You are anymore

I've all but abandoned what we call
Your Word ~ acerbic

Ha!
The Incontrovertible Word of God! ~ mocking

Isn’t that what we’re supposed to believe, hey?

All I see is at best a mishmash of history
At worst a fairytale
Even worse, best and worst mixed

And on that mix
Wars are fought
Whole nations are wiped out
Everyone insisting they have Your ear
Friend and foe alike

So… we’ve come to a state of impasse
I don’t believe You anymore

Sure. I like it when You
come here on this path

Have You seen the views?

Can You see ‘the lamps in England lighted
and evening wrecked on Wales?’[v]

Housman

Another fine man

Wordsworth and Housman

Two great poets

England’s finest

They too were oft times perplexed

It goes with the gift of the pen

My gifts to you are not meant

just for show

You have to trust Me on this

You have a responsibility to many

They trust you

Why couldn’t You have picked
another to do Your bidding?

It never entered My head

I have you in Mind… that’s all

I look at everyone as if each is Adam

Comprehende?

Can you grasp the significance of that?

Adam and Eve

A great allegory hey!

It suits My purpose

And it enables humankind to get a tangible

feel for Me

The Creator

And you’re not doing My bidding

So get that out of your head for a start.

I deal direct!

Sure. I often orchestrate.

Life is a symphony

I bring melody

A soothing, healing, balm where before raged evil

You love music don’t you?

Yes

I see you’re playing your favourite

theme

‘The Duchess’

Ermm Yep. It calms me

That’s good

I too like it.

I was quite made up

When Rachel composed that score

Your friends

Appreciates music too

They all do!

Flippancy?

Shrugging your shoulders?

A ‘Humphf’?

I'm speaking of universal things.

Just as your heart soars

with the strings in Portman’s theme,

so too their hearts soar, no,

better than that…

their spirits soar

and they commune direct with Me

The Spirit

The Ruach

The Wind

That which comes and goes

But from where you know not

You just know and accept

You can hear the score

I can hear every note, every sound,

every beat, every melody

simultaneously

And if I can do that with music

Then think things through in what

I hear in the beat of every heart

Man, Woman and Child

And EVERY breathing thing

And not just here

But throughout the Universe

The Cosmos

Beyond the Black Hole even

Widen your breadth of thinking

See the pain that I see

And the beauty I see

…Sun over Earth

I AM is right!

Chapter Two

A shimmering.

A radiance far brighter even than the Sun

Blinding,

Yet not Pain,

none.

An enveloping.

I can never see You

unless I sort of look sideways

out of the corner of my eye... …

then I do see You …

Made up of myriad colours, images…

I can’t describe You

Let go

Listen

Learn

Accept My ways

Accept that My ways are past finding out…

As far from east is west

So is the distance between you and Us

And yet here you are standing in Our Presence

That’s good…

You’ve shut up the windows of your mind

You’ve not done that in a while have you?

Yes… but I do not understand

the pain and suffering

I do not understand why parents are taken

Why children are taken

Why there has to be this separation

in the most terrifying circumstances

All the way through history

All the religious books

Even in atheism

We see the same thing

And it’s getting worse

It is no different actually

Nothing has changed

You have knowledge and you have free will

You have chosen that as your birthright

Yes but why all the wars?

Why the hell on earth?

It seems to me, with respect, that the sooner

I get back to You the better

I can’t stand it down here

It IS hell

This IS hell

Not the hell that fairy tales tell us exist

In the centre of the earth godammit!

Sorry!

Calm down.

Reason things through.

What I mean, is that this life here

Is full of corruption and death

I see death and destruction

everywhere I look

And I can do nothing about it

I see beauty beyond description

And I see Your Creation

I see some, mark You, some answers,

But I don’t understand

You do not need to.

Chapter Three

A sudden rustling

Wind in all directions

Yet I stand untouched

Not a hair moves

A Hurricane

Yet without damage

Not even a leaf moves

Hi

What’s the problem?

Oh please. Don’t You start!

Wow. We are tetchy today. Ha-ha.

That’s good. It means you’re angry

…Shimon, whom you know as Petrov…a piece of rock

from Me … The Rock

‘chip off the old block’ Ian…get it? Ha-ha?

Who says We don’t have a sense of humour?

Well Petrov got himself into many tangles with his temper

He didn’t get on at all at first with Matthias,

Typical fisherman…

Didn’t mind paying his taxes

But begrudged paying them to the occupying power

…bad enough…

But oh boy! Matthias, also of the Tribe of Levi

Well, as far as Shimon was concerned

He’d done the dirty and was collecting taxes for the Romans

Even worse, he was of the Levitical Priesthood

So in Shimon’s view that made him legit for the chop

And as you know, he was a bit hasty in its use

Remember the ear cut off in Gethsemane?

You were’nt far from the spot that I put it back on

When you last popped in there you know

I only mention this because I heard you

Going on about history and fairytales!

Ermmmm. Indeed you may look a bit sheepish Ian!

Anyway, as I was saying,

Shimon and Matthias got on in the end.

As well you know.

But Petrov was always a hothead

Demanded answers

And had a tendency to run with the hare and the hounds

You mean the time Paul ticked him off

for having two sets of rules?

Yep. He’d eat with the gentiles without any fuss

But when the Elders were together

When the Rabbis dined, and with the people

Then he suddenly decided he couldn’t be seen

To eat with the gentiles

And Paul went ballistic!

I know! Because I was there.

Again, as you know.

I AM Ken!

Which in modern parlance means

I'm everywhere.

And I'm a carpenter by trade

And what’s the thing you couldn’t master at school?

Dovetail joints

Yes! Your tool box as I recall

ended up no bigger than a match box

“Cut ‘em off and do ‘em again!!”
Isn't that what Mr. Woodman used to say and spray?

Gosh. You haven’t missed anything!

Glad you’ve noticed.

His Eyes sparkled, brilliant,

beyond anything I've seen

‘eyes darker than wine,

teeth whiter than milk’.

You’ve been perplexed today

I know

Jason's poem hit you for six.

It was meant to.

He is my son

He is very beautiful

As all Mine are – sons and daughters alike

And please!

Don’t start presuming

That some aren’t Mine.

I AM far greater than every single

Universe you could ever imagine

I AM beyond infinity Ian

I AM beyond comprehension

And yes.

I DID appear in the furness

with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego

and as you know

in time

Nebuchadnezzar himself

became Mine

I admit I was tough on him

He suffered seven years of insanity

And then he found his mind again…

That’s when he obtained true perspective

And yep, one day in aeons to come,

You and everyone else will be chatting away

together

You like coffee don’t you

Well, there’s plenty of that

Old Nebu quite likes it too ;)

You’re never anything like I imagined You

No I know.

But I know how you see Me

And I am surrounding you with friends

Right across the earth

Friends who will stand by you

You have nothing to fear

only fear itself.

So that’s a non-starter.

The stunning alternative modern vision by the Artist Ben Judson and to whom all rights thereto are reserved

Are you feeling better now?

Yes … … I am thanks

I'm so proud of Jason You All know!

And when I read ‘SOUL’

I saw for real

that which is fiction

in the pieces,

I'd written about the Holocaust.

The Most High sat quietly

on the sand-dune nearby

Yes I know.

And it was time for you to come face to face

With the hint of what I'd shown you in Bosnia

In that police station basement

You needed to see the outcome

Of, as you all say,

‘man’s inhumanity to man’.

It’s also giving you a glimpse

Just a tiny glimpse of how I felt

As I let go of Him

And turned my Face away

from the Execution Stake

You know Ian, that was very hard that

evil day

For I could have reversed it had I wanted to

But that would not have provided Salvation

I had to demonstrate that I would go the whole mile

Make the sacrifice

You know – do what I'd tested on Abraham and Isaac…

That I would not require of you all …

… for all of you.

You know what?

It was intense seeing the very

Host of Heaven

My Creation

Millions upon millions

Look upon Me The Most High

Look down upon Me broken

And nailed to a stake

Look to My Spirit…

Knowing full well

That We would not intervene

And seeing the pain and anguish

In their faces as they turned away

From My Son in shame and despair

Their wings folded, firmly pinned

And on that day

The very principalities and powers

Rocked the universe but knew they

Had to see it through

There was great anguish that day Ian

You only know it as an earthquake

But that was the shattering of the Universe

The subjugation of evil

And those words that pierced my heart

As surely as the sword pieced His side

Deus, Deus meus, ut quid dereliquisti Me

Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabachtani

My God, My God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me

And then the glorious proclamation

That came From My Son’s lips Ken

And which cut through the hearts of all Three of Us

We, The Trinity

We, The Triune GOD

Three In One

It is finished!

Consummatum est!

Es ist vollbracht!

Il est fini!

Why Am I telling you these things Ken?

I AM witnessing to you

That which D has been through

And everyone else too

That when he speaks of the two edged sword

He speaks My Truth

Faith is sharper than any two edged sword

So sharp that it will plunge into the soul

And split bone from marrow

But it will not quench the spirit or destroy the soul

It’s a pleasant day today

Go for a run

Here. There’s nothing better

than racing a dog through the surf

You won’t win

But it’s great fun

So be off with you! 

Image Courtesy the Photographer to whom all rights are reserved

[i] the LORD, YHWH, Jehovah

[ii] The Holy Spirit

[iii] Messiah

[iv] William Wordsworth, Calais, France ~ August 1802

[v] Alfred Edward Housman from the 3rd and final stanza of On forelands high in heaven

15 May 2023
All Rights Reserved

LIVERPOOL

© 2023 Kenneth Thomas Webb

Written 11 January 2014

My views in 2014 are not the views or sentiments I hold nine years on. When I last posted this on 15 May 2023, well, the distance between that date and 11 November 2023 is as fas as east is from west

The world stinks.

Human Nature is vile

It has always been vile

As for religion…

All religion ~ the three Fs

Fact Fiction Fairytale

Sun Over Earth ~ Photo by Jeremy Bezanger on Unsplash